Many children of older parents underestimate the number of extra chores they are taking on to “help Mom out” or to “take care of Dad.” Miscalculating the investment can also mean misjudging the toll on their own lives.

Protect your emotional health

• Take me time: If this means asking someone else to watch your loved one for a few hours, then ask. You may need to look into local adult day care programs or respite care programs through your local hospice or other organization. Get out and do something fun regularly —and without guilt!

• Don’t isolate yourself: Maintain your family and social relationships. You may have to adjust how and where you meet, and how often, but don’t sacrifice your own life for someone else’s. Doing so will only encourage a sense of stress and resentment.

• Find a support group: Look for local support groups for caregivers, or join one online. You need to be able to talk to people who know what your challenges are — and can offer suggestions!

• Reduce your stress: If you have a relaxing hobby, pursue it. If you haven’t tried meditation or yoga, now might be the time to give it a shot. Even regular stretching or breathing exercises can help reduce stress.

Prioritize your own self-care

• Eat properly: Nourish your body to prevent illness and physical stress. Recognize that grabbing a quick bite of fast food on a regular basis will eventually damage your health.

• Stay active: Exercise offers excellent mental and physical benefits, plus it reduces your chance of chronic illness and disease.

• Look after yourself: Don’t postpone your own medical needs. Stay in bed if you need to. Make regular doctor/dentist appointments for yourself.

• Get adequate rest: Sleep deprivation has been proven to trigger numerous physical and mental ailments. Caregiving can interrupt sleep, so rest whenever you are able. If your charge is taking a nap, you should, too.

After all, when flying on an airplane, you are always told that, in case of an emergency, you should put on your air mask before assisting others. Why? If you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to care for anyone else. The same holds true for every caregiver.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor with Keller Williams Platinum Realty in Spring Township, Berks County, and a designated Senior Real Estate Specialist. Email: AllisonMcmillan@kw.com.

Christy Lane, vice president of health services at Beaumont, worked through the certification process together with Dr. Richard Lange, a Beaumont resident and caregiver to his partner, Jeff Klein. Their story is one of perseverance, optimism and hope.

According to the Parkinson’s Foundation, nearly 1 million people in the U.S. are living with Parkinson’s disease, and almost  90,000 people are newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s every year.

After Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s has become the second-most-common neurodegenerative disease, for which the greatest risk factor is age. As a result, senior care and retirement communities must prepare for what the NIH calls “emerging evidence of a pandemic.”

Lange was caring for Klein, who had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s 12 years earlier, when he realized they needed additional help.

“Jeff was getting sicker,” he said, “and especially during COVID, it was difficult to get the extra help we needed. I had stopped working to care for Jeff, but I was only 64 — too young to move to an isolated apartment in some care facility.”

Thus began their search for a supportive community in the Philadelphia area that would allow them to continue to embrace life: a full-serve community, beautiful surroundings, near public transportation, close to everything the bustling city offers  — yet with a home of their own.

“That was mid-2021,” Lange said. “Not one community we visited was Parkinson’s-certified, including Beaumont. But the management team and the residents we met with were very receptive to changing that and to supporting Jeff in every way possible.

“That attitude and the fact that Beaumont is resident-owned meant that changes could be made and that we could buy and customize a villa to give Jeff the freedom to live independently.”

Lane oversees Beaumont’s continuum of care and has held positions in health leadership and senior care for over 20 years.

“When I came to Beaumont in 2022, there were only a few Parkinson’s-certified communities in the country,” she said. “That highlighted that the unique needs of those living with Parkinson’s were not yet fully realized in the post-acute space. Yet there were 14 residents at Beaumont living with Parkinson’s. So, with Dr. Lange’s support, we set out to accommodate them and all future residents.

“The certification process took about four months, and the key was to create awareness with both residents and staff of Parkinson’s … the signs and the unique needs.”

Lange had previously conducted mini-focus groups with resident patients and caregivers to develop a baseline for needs and wants, which Lane used in a town hall presentation.

After that initial presentation, 80% of all Beaumont staff were required to watch two 45-minute videos about Parkinson’s, and department directors were given additional video material.

“We had an impressive 96% engagement with employees, and everyone stepped up,” Lane said. “Like Elizabeth Bennett, our nurse practitioner, who continues to integrate Parkinson’s protocols throughout our personal care and nursing care facilities.

“Miriam Quinn, our director of wellness, has done the same in our walk-in Wellness Center, and Diana DiMeglio, our fitness coordinator, has expanded the fitness and swimming regimens to include more movement-oriented exercises.”

Meanwhile, Lange and Klein were able to construct their own haven — literally.

“The basic bones of the villa we bought were great…light and bright, wide halls and no threshold access from the back patio, garage and front walk for the wheelchair,” Lange said. “Two issues we needed to address were trip-and-fall dangers and the decline in Jeff’s vision — the confusion between figure and ground that is common with Parkinson’s.”

The pair designed and installed a custom kitchen with special sink and oven at wheelchair height. The bathroom has built-in seating and grab bars throughout. The living room, dining room, bedroom and office are elegantly but selectively furnished to reduce clutter and dangerous obstructions.

The cherry on top is Astro the robot, who roams freely to keep an “eye” (a display screen with camera and microphone) on Klein, allowing Lange to communicate with him when he’s away from home, and reminding Klein of his medication schedule.

Lange and Lane agree that more can and should be done to accommodate people living with Parkinson’s. Lane is researching outside providers to bring Parkinson-specific dementia care and physical and speech therapy onto campus.

Meanwhile, Lange has organized a caregiver’s support group, now in its second year under the leadership of fellow resident Dr. Vick Kelly, which turned out to be so successful that all caregivers in the community are invited to participate.

“Throughout the U.S. we need to realize that the incidence of Parkinson’s is only growing and that we need to prepare,” Lange said. “I am fortunate. I spent my career in social work, I could navigate the healthcare system, and I have the support of Christy and all of Beaumont behind me to enable me to do the most important thing for Jeff: provide a place of hope and optimism.”

For those unfamiliar, it was a drawing game that consisted of plastic templates of varying sizes. There were two master templates shaped like donuts, which you would pin to the middle of a piece of paper attached to cardboard for stability. These templates were usually round (though some varied).

Then, you would select a solid, round plastic piece with many little holes in it (there were many sizes to choose from, depending on how large or small you wanted your final product to be). The holes were to put the tip of a colored pen into, which ultimately would create your design.

My masterpieces would invariably resemble a flower, with a perfect hole in the center, which to me was just beautiful. The pen would never leave the paper, the design would be fluid and perfect. The result? A thing of beauty.

It occurred to me that this perfectly describes the events of my family’s past week. My mother turned 90, and we threw a huge surprise party for her. Family and friends came from all over, including another continent and many U.S. states, to honor her.

As I sat in that room and looked around at the varied guests, it made me think of Spirograph. Here was my mom at the center of this masterpiece. She is the core, the center of all our lives. Each petal is another person from her past, from her whole life, who, together, make up this magnificent design that is her story.

Each stage of life was represented in that room, and in that portrait, all present intersected to form a perfect union. They all came together in an amazing design.

The fluidity of this flower represents her life, her continued existence, and each of her very best friends and family members make up the rest. How perfect is this image?

Each one of you has a Spirograph depiction that can be made with you at the center. You are the core to someone’s life, the example to follow, the bar for which to strive. The colors and  the templates you choose and the patterns are all up to you, but your fluidity through this life creates the beauty.

So remember to shape your flower the way you wish — and enjoy it. The final result depends on you.  Create beauty. Create adventure. Create love. Then you can sit back and bask in the memories of your Spirograph life.

The routine began many years ago when one of her daughters, Donna Famous of Charlestown, Chester County, needed a solution to keep her mother active and cared for while she was at work all day.

Karkoska has been living with Famous, one of her eight children, for the past 11 1/2 years. Having her in adult day care has enabled her to continue living with family.

“The day care is great,” Famous said. “They keep her moving and active.”

Famous finds it enhances her mother’s quality of life.

“When she’s at home, it’s hard to get her to do anything,” Famous said. “She tends to sit and isn’t very active. She’ll watch TV and do word search books like it’s her job to get them finished.”

Participates in food prep

When at day care, Karkoska is more physically active, participating in food prep, exercise classes, arts and crafts, playing trivia and listening to live music.

“She cuts vegetables and they have a craft room — she’s very artistic,” Famous said. “It’s nice knowing how great it is there and how much they do.”

There is also a social aspect to her day that Karkoska enjoys.

“It’s better than sitting at home, and there are lots of nice people there,” Karkoska said.

Karkoska has always enjoyed crafting and painting, along with sewing, knitting and crocheting.

“I used to sew clothes and everything,” she said, adding she once made a wedding dress for her daughter-in-law, along with flower girl dresses.

Many benefits

Famous sees so many benefits to her mother being in day care that when she retired, she decided to have her continue attending.

“She’s around other people there, and that’s a plus for her,” Famous said, adding it also offers her the ability to keep up with her own activities. “I volunteer at two places and meet up with friends and food shop — I couldn’t do those things without SarahCare.

Famous said that the expense is worth it.

“It’s expensive and costs $80 a day, and we also pay for the transportation,” she said.

On weekends when Famous has her under her care full time, she takes her mother everywhere since it’s not safe to leave her home alone. She also helps out with small tasks around the house.

“I take her out and we’ll go to dinner,” Famous said. “She’ll help fold the laundry and used to help unload the dishwasher.”

Karkoska is still able to shower and dress herself.

“She puts makeup on and makes her bed every day,” Famous said.

Grandmom

While Karkoska still walks without a walker or a cane, Famous tends to hold her arm everywhere they go, whether out shopping or to watch her great-grandson William DePrado’s baseball games.

DePrado is among Karkoska’s 101 grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren who call her Grandmom.

“I have lots of grandchildren who are all well and healthy, thank God,” Karkoska said.

The eldest of five generations of women, some of Karkoska’s other children help out taking turns with weekend care. Five family members will be pitching in to care for her while Famous takes a trip to Europe this summer.

As for Karkoska, she’ll continue her active days at SarahCare throughout the summer months.

“We keep busy and it’s a nice place to go,” Karkoska said. “They’re a friendly bunch of people.”

More information

About SarahCare Day Care: SarahCare in East Whiteland Township, Chester County, provides a warm, safe and friendly home-like setting for your loved one to spend the day. They offer a full day of social, recreational and mentally stimulating activities, as well as breakfast, lunch and snacks.

Website: www.sarahcare.com

The event began at the St. Andrew’s United Methodist Church pavilion across the street from the actual “shovels in the dirt” ceremony that was held later. Construction is set to begin in August, with the project anticipated to conclude in late summer 2025.

The new senior living community in Berks County will be a joint venture of IntegraCare and Weathervane Capital Partners. Triple Crown Corporation will be the general contractor.

“This groundbreaking ceremony is another important step,” said Kevin Cysyk, IntegraCare Vice President of Development, Acquisition and CapEx. “We are excited to begin construction on this new community.

“The modern design features and amenities at The Residence at Boyertown will capture the expected increase in demand for senior living options while also accommodating residents who move in from other older senior living communities.”

IntegraCare CEO Larry Rouvelas joined Cysyk, IntegraCare Project Manager and Strategic Analyst Sarah Spardy and IntegraCare Construction Project Manager John Stare during the ceremony.

The Residence at Boyertown is expected to create approximately 100 jobs in the 131,000-square-foot building that will include 54 independent living units, 50 personal care units and 22 memory care units.

The Residence at Boyertown and The Residence at Village Greens, another Berks County senior living community under construction in Sinking Spring, are part of the continued growth of IntegraCare, which currently operates 17 senior living communities located in Pennsylvania, Maryland and Virginia.

For more information, contact Cysyk at kcysyk@integracare.com or 412-789-6149.

This year’s event paid tribute to the senior residents of the Highlands who are World War II veterans and commemorated the 80th anniversary of D-Day, honoring the brave individuals who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

The program was organized by Highlands residents led by Barbara Witman, who has lived there since 2018.

The program featured guest speaker Tyler Boland, a 20-year-old junior at Albright College in Reading who has dedicated himself to documenting the stories of WWII veterans.

Boland has interviewed and recorded the stories of nearly 200 WWII veterans across Pennsylvania and other states. He shared his passion and brought his restored WWII Jeep for attendees to view.

Attendees also witnessed the recognition of the Highlands’s WWII veteran residents, Milton Ripple, Betty O’Connell, Norman Wilikofsky and Paul Lilienthal. The performance of “Taps,” a call traditionally sounded at military ceremonies and funerals, by resident Rick Wilson and his grandson provided a touching conclusion to the event.

In addition to the recognition of The Highlands’s veteran residents, the program also featured musical tributes to all service branches.

Kevin DeAcosta, president and CEO of the Highlands at Wyomissing, emphasized the importance of honoring these veterans.

“Caring for our WWII veterans at the Highlands is a responsibility we cherish,” he said. “Their stories and experiences are invaluable, and it’s an honor to provide them with a comfortable and supportive home where they can enjoy their retirement.”

For more information about the Highlands at Wyomissing, visit www.thehighlands.org or call 610-775-2300.

Each brings a distinct set of skills and experiences that will further strengthen an already impressive board with experience in legal, finance, construction, information technology and healthcare industries.

Norm Ledwin, healthcare executive and resident

Ledwin brings over 35 years of leadership experience in healthcare to the board. His extensive career includes serving as president and CEO of Eastern Maine Healthcare Systems, Eastern Maine Medical Center and MetroHealth Saint Luke’s Medical Center.

Ledwin’s expertise in strategic planning, operational excellence and governance development has been instrumental in ensuring financial stability and fostering innovation in healthcare delivery.

His addition to the board brings invaluable insights and a wealth of experience that will drive White Horse Village’s mission forward.

Steven J. Videon, business owner

Videon joins the board with over 30 years of business management experience as owner of Videon Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram in Newtown Square and Videon Chevrolet in Phoenixville.

He has led the dealerships to top positions in sales and customer satisfaction in the Mid-Atlantic CDJR region and earned recognition for an impressive track record in business development, leadership and team building.

His dedication to relationship building, coaching and leadership development will be a tremendous asset to the board and community.

Ken Frantz, cyber and artificial intelligence consultant

Frantz is a transformational leader with over 30 years of experience in driving operational improvements and excellence in project management within information technology.

His notable roles include director of cyber and AI security services at KPMG LLP and chief information officer/vice president of information systems at North Highland Worldwide Consulting.

His experience in artificial intelligence, high-value transactional systems and data analytics will greatly enhance the board’s strategic capabilities in the rapidly evolving digital landscape.

“We are thrilled to welcome Norm, Steven and Ken to our board of directors,” said Michael Shaw, president and CEO of White Horse Village. “Their diverse expertise and proven leadership will undoubtedly drive our community forward, ensuring we continue to provide exceptional senior living experiences for our residents while also attracting, hiring and retaining a talent team.”

About White Horse Village: Situated on 96 acres in southeastern Pennsylvania, White Horse Village is an active senior living community offering a full range of living options and healthcare services. The community intentionally creates opportunities for extraordinary living in a vibrant, diverse community through personal growth, connectedness and relationships. As a nonprofit organization, White Horse Village reinvests earnings back into the organization to further its mission and vision. For more information, visit www.whitehorsevillage.org.

This prestigious certification is a testament to The Mansion at Rosemont’s unwavering commitment to providing an inclusive and affirming environment for LGBTQ+ older adults.

SAGE, the world’s largest organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ+ older adults, awarded its SAGECare Platinum Credential to The Mansion at Rosemont after a rigorous assessment of policies, practices and staff training aimed at creating an inclusive and welcoming space for all residents, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

“We are thrilled to have earned the SAGECare Credential,” said Carisa Livingston, executive director of The Mansion at Rosemont. “As we mark Pride Month, our team members and residents stand in solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community acknowledging their unique experiences and contributions.

“At The Mansion at Rosemont, we believe in fostering a community where every individual feels respected, valued and celebrated for who they are. This certification reaffirms our dedication to providing an inclusive environment that prioritizes the well-being of all residents.”

The SAGECare certification process evaluates senior living communities based on a range of criteria, including non-discrimination policies, staff training on LGBTQ+ cultural competency, community engagement and resident support services.

“SAGE takes great pride in announcing our partnership with The Mansion at Rosemont and celebrating their remarkable achievement of earning the distinguished SAGECare Platinum Credential,” said Michele Giordano, executive director of SAGEVentures for SAGE. “This accomplishment is a testament to their steadfast dedication to fostering an inclusive and affirming environment for LGBTQ+ older adults.

“We extend our heartfelt gratitude to The Mansion at Rosemont for their commitment, and we look forward to advancing our shared mission of creating supportive spaces for all individuals.”

The Mansion at Rosemont is one of the inspiring life plan communities of HumanGood, a national nonprofit leader in independent and innovative senior living. They invite you to live your best life in a welcoming community with the promise of future care if ever needed. For more information, visit https://www.humangood.org/the-mansion-at-rosemont.

HumanGood was founded on the belief that everyone should have the opportunity to live life with enthusiasm, confidence and security, regardless of physical, social or economic circumstances. Its mission is to ensure that those they serve have every opportunity to become their best selves as they define it. This extends to those who live in their communities, their family, friends and those who serve them. With approximately 5,000 team members serving more than 13,000 residents in 23 life plan communities and nearly 100 affordable housing communities, HumanGood is the seventh-largest nonprofit senior living provider in the country. To learn more, visit HumanGoodAffordableHousing.org and HumanGood.org.

This milestone reflects the community’s unwavering commitment to providing top-quality care and a nurturing environment for all residents.

During the comprehensive survey, state and federal regulations were meticulously reviewed to ensure Barclay Friends met the highest standards of care. The process included detailed interviews with residents and employees, thorough policy reviews and keen observations of care practices and dining services.

Earning a deficiency-free rating is a significant accomplishment, as only approximately 10% of skilled nursing centers in the United States successfully achieve this distinction.

This milestone is also a repeat performance for Barclay Friends, having attained the honor two years in a row. It underscores the hard work and dedication to excellence in every aspect of the services and care provided.

Barclay Friends is committed to maintaining the highest standards of care and creating a safe, comfortable and enriching environment for all residents.

“Receiving a deficiency-free rating is a testament to Barclay Friends’ dedication and the exceptional care we provide,” said Maria Santangelo, chief executive officer. “I am deeply grateful to the employees, residents and their families for their unwavering support and trust.”

Families of residents have shared their positive experiences, further highlighting the impact of Barclay Friend’s outstanding care.

“My father has been at Barclay Friends in the Personal Care Area (Preston) for two years,” Sonja A. said. “Everyone was and is welcoming. The nursing care is excellent. He joins in all the activities. My father gives the best recommendation for Barclay Friends. He tells me he is happy there.”

“I am forever grateful for the outstanding care — physical and emotional — that my mother received while residing at Barclay Friends,” Eva said. “They made my mother’s transition into her new home so much better (safer and enriching) than my experience with other senior living communities and, frankly, so much better than I could have ever imagined. My thanks to all staff; you are all special people and truly gifted at what you do.”

Barclay Friends is committed to fostering an environment that prioritizes the well-being and happiness of residents. This deficiency-free rating reflects their dedication to these values, and the community pledges to continue upholding the highest standards of care.

For more information about Barclay Friends, visit https://bf.kendal.org/community-life/community-overview.

About Barclay Friends: Barclay Friends is a Kendal affiliate offering a home environment and warm, compassionate care. Services for older adults include Residential Living, Memory Care, Personal Care and Skilled Nursing Care. Barclay Friends employs a dedicated staff with many years of service who understand that focusing on residents’ individual needs enhances their quality of life.

About Kendal: Founded on Quaker principles and guided by values and practices, Kendal affiliates provide independent living, assisted living, memory support, skilled nursing and rehabilitation care. Kendal-affiliated senior living communities are located in Hanover, N.H.; Ithaca and Sleepy Hollow, N.Y.; Northampton and Easthampton, Mass.; Lexington, Va.;the Washington metropolitan area; West Chester; Oberlin, Ohio; and Sonoma Valley, Calif. In Ohio, Kentucky and Massachusetts, Kendal at Home provides the CCRC at Home model.

This distinction is the first of three progressive award levels through the AHCA/NCAL National Quality Award Program. The program honors providers across the nation that have demonstrated their dedication to enhancing the quality of care for our nation’s elders and individuals with disabilities.

“We are so proud of the Laureldale team for being honored with a Bronze award,” said Lauren Murray, senior vice president of operations for Genesis HealthCare. “Quality care is at the core of everything that they do. Laureldale Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center has clearly demonstrated their commitment to delivering ever-improving quality care to their patients and residents. We are incredibly proud of their achievement.”

The AHCA/NCAL National Quality Award Program is a rigorous three-level process reviewed and evaluated by trained experts against a set of nationally recognized standards for organizational excellence.

The standards of the Baldrige Performance Excellence Program help organizations achieve superior performance over time to improve the quality of life and care of long term care residents.

Providers begin the quality improvement journey at the Bronze level, where they develop an organizational profile detailing among other elements their vision, mission, key customers, and key strengths and challenges.

Bronze applicants must demonstrate the use of a performance improvement system. Trained examiners review each application to determine if a center has met the demands of the criteria.

As a recipient of the Bronze — Commitment to Quality award, Laureldale Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center may now move forward to the Silver — Achievement in Quality award criteria.

“Receiving this award marks the beginning of an exciting journey towards excellence,” said Cathy Bergland, AHCA/NCAL National Quality Award board chair. “Congratulations to Laureldale Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center for this significant achievement. I encourage you to take some time to celebrate and continue striving for higher levels of quality and performance.”

The National Quality Awards will be presented during Delivering Solutions 24, the AHCA/NCAL Convention and Expo, Oct. 6-9 in Orlando, Fla.

About Laureldale Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation Center: Located at 2125 Elizabeth Avenue in Laureldale, we provide individualized post-hospital skilled nursing care in a comfortable environment. Our clinical and therapy teams are experienced in providing specialized care focused on your needs, interests and ability. This commitment results in a smoother and safer transition throughout your recuperation. For more information, visit www.laureldalenursingandrehab.com.

About AHCA/NCAL: The American Health Care Association and National Center for Assisted Living (AHCA/NCAL) represent more than 14,000 nonprofit and proprietary skilled nursing centers, assisted living communities, sub-acute centers and homes for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. By delivering solutions for quality care, AHCA/NCAL aims to improve the lives of the millions of frail, elderly and individuals with disabilities who receive long term or post-acute care in our member facilities each day. For more information, visit www.ahcancal.org.