Call me old-fashioned or even out of touch with today’s virtual world, but I still believe more than ever that character matters — for good or ill, even online though people try to hide it there.
Character is what a person is at their core, their deepest held beliefs and values. You know a person’s character not only by what they say but equally as important by how they behave.
Of course, there is both bad and good character.
Good character leads to behaviors that benefit others, including oneself. Ethically speaking, good character involves treating others with respect, even kindness. It’s the universal moral code of the Golden Rule — treat others as you wish to be treated — fairly and compassionately.
On the other hand, bad character means treating others selfishly, putting yourself first and assuming others are only in the world to meet your needs.
Many world traditions speak of pride as the cardinal fault or sin of human beings. Jesus posed the key question that needs to be asked of anyone who puts their own needs above all else: “What does it profit a person to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?”
There is a concept I believe explains much of our contemporary suffering: Cognitive dissonance. Put simply, it happens when what a person says and how they behave are in conflict.
I remember witnessing a case of cognitive dissonance some years ago when a mother seeking to correct her child’s behaviorcalled out to him softly, “‘Come here sweetie Mommy wants to talk with you.” When the child drew close, she slapped him. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if that child is still in therapy.
The truth is that what a person really believes shapes how he or she acts. It’s the persistent belief that can become a regular behavior.
The good news, however, is that a person who wants to change can do so — not just by thinking about changing but by practicing it. We are what we do, our habits in other words, said the philosopher Aristotle. It’s the regular, self-conscious and everyday committed practice of making good ethical choices that makes a person of good character. And good, positive character can impact others, even entire organizations, as bad, selfish character can have the opposite effect,
Once when asked by an interviewer what guidance he wanted to leave behind for others, the British philosopher and mathematician Bertrand Russell responded in a single sentence I believe summarizes wisdom from many times and cultures: “Love is wise, hatred is foolish.”
If you want to be a wise, good person, then practice loving more and hating less.
John C Morgan is an author and teacher. “Everyday Wisdom”, a collection of his columns, is vailable on Amazon. He can be reached at drjohncmorgan@yahoo.com
