Many children of older parents underestimate the number of extra chores they are taking on to “help Mom out” or to “take care of Dad.” Miscalculating the investment can also mean misjudging the toll on their own lives.

Protect your emotional health

• Take me time: If this means asking someone else to watch your loved one for a few hours, then ask. You may need to look into local adult day care programs or respite care programs through your local hospice or other organization. Get out and do something fun regularly —and without guilt!

• Don’t isolate yourself: Maintain your family and social relationships. You may have to adjust how and where you meet, and how often, but don’t sacrifice your own life for someone else’s. Doing so will only encourage a sense of stress and resentment.

• Find a support group: Look for local support groups for caregivers, or join one online. You need to be able to talk to people who know what your challenges are — and can offer suggestions!

• Reduce your stress: If you have a relaxing hobby, pursue it. If you haven’t tried meditation or yoga, now might be the time to give it a shot. Even regular stretching or breathing exercises can help reduce stress.

Prioritize your own self-care

• Eat properly: Nourish your body to prevent illness and physical stress. Recognize that grabbing a quick bite of fast food on a regular basis will eventually damage your health.

• Stay active: Exercise offers excellent mental and physical benefits, plus it reduces your chance of chronic illness and disease.

• Look after yourself: Don’t postpone your own medical needs. Stay in bed if you need to. Make regular doctor/dentist appointments for yourself.

• Get adequate rest: Sleep deprivation has been proven to trigger numerous physical and mental ailments. Caregiving can interrupt sleep, so rest whenever you are able. If your charge is taking a nap, you should, too.

After all, when flying on an airplane, you are always told that, in case of an emergency, you should put on your air mask before assisting others. Why? If you don’t take care of yourself first, you won’t be able to care for anyone else. The same holds true for every caregiver.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor with Keller Williams Platinum Realty in Spring Township, Berks County, and a designated Senior Real Estate Specialist. Email: AllisonMcmillan@kw.com.

Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Start with the easy stuff. Eliminate anything that’s broken, damaged or no longer wanted. Then, go to the out-of-the way spaces like attics, crawlspaces and garages. Making progress in easier areas will build momentum to go through the harder-to-decide areas.

2. Ask yourself, “If this disappeared tomorrow, would I run out and replace it?” If you wouldn’t miss it or need to replace it, it’s probably not worth keeping.

3. Don’t be a storage unit for others. If friends or relatives have left things for you to store, it’s time to ask them to pick them up or arrange to have them shipped. You may need to be tough and set a firm deadline, after which you will donate the items.

4. Ask for help. Although you can do much of this work on your own, a family member, a good friend or even a professional organizer can help make the job more manageable.

5. Decide what’s really important. Pretend you are moving overseas, and the number of items you can take will be severely limited and it will cost a small fortune to ship things. What items belong on your list? These are the things that matter most to you!

6. Is this something from a lifestyle I no longer have or want? For example, if you have three cabinets full of plastic containers, but only cook for one or two people, you probably can lose a few plastic sets and dishes, pots and pans, etc.

7. Schedule a regular time each week or several days per week-to work on rightsizing. Realize that rightsizing is a life-changing marathon, not a sprint. You didn’t accumulate everything overnight, and you won’t sort it all out overnight, either.

8. Value what you keep. The fewer things you keep, the more you will treasure and enjoy what you have, instead of tucking them away in a closet or stacked among dozens of other things. These are the few, meaningful items worth having in your personal space.

9. Prevent new collections from forming. Instead of material gifts, ask people to spoil you by sharing time, enjoying new experiences and indulging in luxuries (spa certificates, imported chocolate, a musical or other theater production, gift certificates for dinner out, etc.) — the things you love and want, but don’t always buy for yourself.

10. Use age to your advantage. Now is a great time to gift items you eventually want family members to have. Special people in your life can enjoy these items while you are still able to share in their next generation memories. As an added bonus, you’ll be freeing yourself of extra “stuff” that you have been charged with keeping for posterity.

Allison McMillan is a Licensed PA Realtor with Keller Williams Platinum Realty in Spring Township, Berks County, and a Designated Senior Real Estate Specialist. Contact her at allisonmcmillan@kw.com.

This means your generation has a strong presence in the yearly housing market, and professionals pay attention to what you are looking for in a property.

As boomers and Gen Xers approach retirement, the needs and preferences of the senior real estate market are changing. Let’s look at where people in your age bracket chose to live last year.

Embracing new builds

When compared to younger buyers, those in the 55 and older community showed a higher preference for purchasing new builds. While building a new home comes with benefits, there are notable drawbacks, such as the wait time for moving in and the perception that previously owned homes offer a better value. Why did seniors opt for new builds at higher rates?

According to survey results, the top three reasons experienced buyers chose to “go new” included the ability to customize their home design, the allure of amenities in a new community and the desire to avoid potential renovations or issues with plumbing and electricity.

For buyers in this stage of life, prioritizing customization and avoiding hassles takes precedence over the convenience of quick move-ins and potential savings on a resale property.

Choosing non-traditional homes

Across all generations and age ranges, stand-alone single-family homes remained the overwhelming favorite across all generations. However, boomers and seniors were more inclined toward alternative dwelling types than other buyers.

As movers aged, the likelihood of choosing townhomes, apartments, condos and other non-traditional homes increased. The motivation behind these choices varies — some seek to manage less space, others desire a community of fellow seniors, and many aim to reduce the concerns of outdoor maintenance.

Still, within the 55 and older community, there is some diversity. Those opting for senior-focused communities showed distinctions based on age. Younger retirees were more drawn to resort or recreation areas, while older tended toward urban settings.

Family is at the forefront

In 2022, the top reason retirees chose to move was to be closer to family, and this desire increased with age. When asked about their main reason for buying a new home, 17% of those aged 57-66 wanted to be near family. This number rose to 24% for 67-75-year-olds and 30% for those 76 and older.

Around 12-14% of home buyers ended up in multi-generational households, meaning they now live with their parents, adult children or extended family members. Whether driven by a wish to avoid loneliness, facilitate caregiving, or simply enjoy added companionship and support, buyers were often willing to compromise in other aspects of their living arrangements to be close to family members.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor with KellerWilliams Platinum Realty in Spring Township and a designated Senior Real Estate Specialist.

Sources: The National Association of Realtors 2022; nar.realtor/sites/default/files/documents/2022-home-buyers-and-sellers-generational-trends-03-23-2022.

Many factors can influence your decision to sell, including downsizing, moving closer to family or seeking a more manageable living situation.

Have you considered selling the home as-is? Selling as-is means putting the property on the market without making any major repairs or improvements — even when they are needed.

This approach has both advantages and disadvantages to consider and discuss with your Senior Real Estate Specialist to help you decide if an as-is sale is right for you.

Advantages

1. Time and cost savings: Avoiding costly repairs and upgrades can accelerate the selling process and allow you to move on to the next stage of your life more quickly

2. Reducing stress: In situations where the emotional toll of staging or repairing a home is too much to handle, an as-is sale may be for you. Eliminating the need for extensive renovations, financing updates, negotiations over repairs and dealing with contractor hassles can save you stress and allow you to focus on selling and moving more quickly.

3. Attract investors and flippers: Investors and property flippers often look for homes in need of renovations. Selling as-is often attracts these types of buyers, sometimes leading to a quicker sale. Investors and flippers generally expect to handle some repairs and have experience buying homes that are not move-in ready.

4. Transparency: When you are listing a home, you are expected to provide a full disclosure about the condition of the property. Selling the home as-is is a possible solution when you do not have all of the information about the property’s condition. If you inherited a home, or are selling on behalf of a loved one who is unable to provide you with the history of the property, ask your Senior Real Estate Specialist about selling as-is. Your transparency might build trust with potential buyers, free you from liabilities, and lead to a smoother transaction. Many factors can influence your decision to sell including downsizing, moving closer to family, or seeking a more manageable living situation.

Drawbacks

1. Lower sale price: One of the largest drawbacks of selling a home as-is is that you are likely to sell your property for a significantly lower price. Buyers typically expect a steep discount to cover the costs of necessary repairs and improvements and the additional liability they take on in as-is sales.

2. Limited buyer pool: Homes in need of repairs or updates often have reduced market appeal. Selling a home in its current condition will limit the pool of interested buyers. This can result in the property sitting on the market for a longer period, delaying the sale and your ability to move on. Talk with your agent about market conditions in your area to understand if an as-is sale is likely to move fast or take longer to sell.

3. Potential inspection issues: Selling as-is does not free the seller from the need to disclose known defects or issues with the property. Buyers are still likely to conduct inspections, and any significant problems discovered can complicate or even derail the sale. Each area is different, so talk with your Senior Real Estate Specialist and a real estate attorney to find out what your state requires you to disclose and how long buyers have to back out of an as-is sale.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor with Keller Williams Platinum Realty in Spring Township and a designated Senior Real Estate Specialist.

Following these tips can help make families stronger and avoid additional drama or stress.

It’s their life

Your mother and/or father’s decisions belong to them (so long as they remain mentally competent).  Your role is helping them achieve their goals.

Don’t assume the worst

Family members usually have good intentions, even if you don’t agree with their position.  Just like you, they are trying to do what they feel is right for the individual in question.

Be kind and true

Speak to each other honestly and respectfully, even when you have to agree to disagree.

Don’t interrupt.  Be attentive and listen to others-you may be closer to agreeing than you realize, and you may be able to open a productive dialog.

Reactions to stress are unique

Some people withdraw, some become angry, others become sad, while others try to take charge and fix the situation by force.

Recognize these differences and agree to work together.

It’s not your way of the highway

Compromise and discuss the pros and cons calmly.

Remember, you may not get everything you want exactly the way you want it, but everyone is trying to do their best.

Don’t gossip

If you have an issue, address it with that person in person.

Respect them (and yourself) enough to be mature about your concerns and search for a solution, rather than creating additional stress and family drama.

Respect roles

Someone will be (or should be) in charge of decisions if Mom and Dad aren’t capable of making their own.

This person, once designated, has the final say. You can express your opinion, but realize this is an incredibly difficult role and respect their willingness to accept it.

The in-laws’ place

If you are a family member by marriage, realize your primary role is (usually) to support and comfort your spouse and other family members, not to participate in decisions.

Don’t vie for the spotlight

If you have come late to the party, due to personal circumstances, geographical distance or other family dynamics-don’t try to be the hero and trump those who have seen the situation  unfold.

If you feel guilty for your lack of participation, own it and work out those issues on your own time, privately.

Pick your battles

Determine what’s really important to you and support your family members’ decisions on these things that aren’t extremely important to you.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor and a Designated Senior’s Real Estate Specialist. Contact her at HomeswithAllison@gmail.com.

For example, does your current home match your future dreams? Many people use this time to upsize, downsize or move to a new destination.

A real estate professional who has earned the SRES designation can be a valuable partner on your journey. They understand clients’ unique perspectives over the age of 50 and can help you find the right fit, depending on your priorities.

Which category best describes your interests?

1. Focus on family

If family plays an extensive role in your life, you’ll probably need space to accommodate them. That might mean an extra bedroom or a play area for weekly grandchild visits.

Or a multi-generational floor plan that carves out a living suite for an adult child’s family — or yourself.

2. Travel and taking it easy

Perhaps home is where relaxation is the name of the game, and it’s easy to travel because the property takes care of itself.

In this case, look for a home that minimizes maintenance and landscaping chores, perhaps focusing on townhomes or condos with homeowners’ associations.

3. Social butterfly

If you thrive on social interactions, an age-restricted community may be an excellent fit.

Often, they offer a full schedule of activities and events where residents can easily make new acquaintances and build relationships.

4. Staying put

Moving is hard work! If you want to minimize moves, focus on finding a forever home that will continue serving your needs if your health and mobility falter.

Many buyers age 50+ prioritize one-floor living and aging in-place amenities.

5. Eating and entertaining

Maybe you love cooking or hosting gatherings. In this case, prioritize a home with adequate entertaining space indoors and outside.

And if you view retirement as a time to let your culinary skills shine, make sure your next home also includes the kitchen of your dreams.

6. Still working

If you aren’t ready to relax into full retirement or need to continue working for financial reasons, make sure your next home can accommodate remote work (a dedicated office, quiet location, etc.) or is near appealing, in-person job opportunities.

7. Happy hobbyist

Will retirement provide more time to devote to a favorite hobby — or to tackle new skills?

Make sure your home includes space for your pursuits, such as a woodworking shop, a painting studio or a crafts room.

Outdoor enthusiasts may need room to store large equipment, like a fishing boat.

Allison McMillan is a Pennsylvania licensed Realtor and a Seniors Real Estate Specialist. For more information, email allisonmcmillan@kw.com.

With some thoughtful modifications, you can create a living space that is both functional and conducive to aging in place.

Enhance accessibility

Ensure easy access to all areas of your home by removing barriers.

Install ramps or lifts for wheelchair or walker accessibility.

Widen doorways and hallways to accommodate mobility aids, and consider replacing doorknobs with lever-style handles for easier gripping

Bathroom safety

One of the most critical areas to address is the bathroom.

Install grab bars near the toilet, bathtub and shower to provide stability and support. Consider installing a walk-in bathtub or a curbless shower for ease of use.

Non-slip flooring and a raised toilet seat can also enhance safety and convenience.

Kitchen modifications

Make your kitchen user-friendly by lowering countertops and sinks to a comfortable height, allowing for easy access from a seated position.

Install pull-out shelves or drawers for easy reach and organization. Replace traditional knobs with larger, easy-to-grasp handles, and consider installing lever-style faucets for easier operation.

Lighting and safety

Ensure optimal lighting throughout your home.

Install brighter bulbs and task lighting in areas where you perform detailed tasks.

Install motion sensor lights in hallways and staircases for added safety.

Remove any potential tripping hazards, such as loose rugs or cluttered walkways.

Smart technology

Embrace the advantages of smart home technology to simplify everyday tasks.

Invest in voice-activated devices to control lighting, temperature, and security systems.

Consider installing home monitoring systems that allow you to remotely check on your home’s security and well-being.

Bedroom comfort

Create a comfortable and safe bedroom environment.

Opt for a bed height that allows for easy entry and exit and have a firm mattress with proper support.

Install bedside lighting with easy-to-reach controls. Consider a bedroom on the ground floor to avoid stairs if mobility becomes an issue.

Modifying your home for aging in place is an investment in your future well-being. By incorporating these tips, you can create an environment that promotes independence, safety and comfort as you age.

Remember, it is essential to consult with professionals, such as occupational therapists or contractors specializing in accessible design, to ensure the modifications meet your specific needs.

With careful planning and thoughtful modifications, you can enjoy the benefits of aging in place, surrounded by familiarity and the comforts of home.

Allison McMillan is a licensed Pennsylvania Realtor and a Seniors Real Estate Specialist (SRES).